May Your Wings Always Soar and May Your Blade Always Strike True.
The soul of a person is not measured through deeds, morales, ideals or anything else for that matter. The soul of a person,being,entity is through what it actually is and its purpose. Some religion speaks of how we have been set an individual purpose, however that purpose is unknown to us. A preacher will say this is my purpose to preach, a baker will say this is my purpose to bake. I say this is my purpose, to exist upon this mortal coil and to suffer in order to learn. I want to learn more and more about my soul, and it seems every time I experience something a part of my soul is shown to me. A role player would say ive leveled up, a buddhist would say ive reached another stage through my karma. I say I have suffered and because of that learned. These lessons that we all suffer ingrain themselves into our cerebral minds and into the fragile parts of us we call our hearts. Yes the heart is fragile. Ive seen people I consider the coldest, hardest beings in this world finally break down because of the heart. That is a lesson that has never gone past me, it has always stayed with me letting me know as much as I shut myself off from the others I will always have to go back. I seek people, I seek companionship, I seek what I do not have. This is a common adventure through anyone’s life. We want what we have not obtained. We want what we cannot have, we want. However this does not mean these goals are impossible to obtain, no it simply means we do not have what we want. I want something that will make me happy, I do not know what exactly this thing I seek is but I still want it. I will forever seek it until I obtain it and then I will move on. Someone once told me that there was an itch between the shoulderblades of all people. The wings of an angel it was said grew from that itch. The soul when pure manifests itself in those wings of an angel, that itch forever vanishes and becomes the feeling of unfettered joy in the form of freedom, joy, and bliss. Those wings will forever be your guiding light in times of dark, your messenger to the deaf and the guiding hand to the blind. I often wonder why we lost our way as a soul, why now are we like the ronin samurai selling our very souls for something material. We have forsaken our very light that keeps us afloat when we would fall from grace. We can watch the lowest form of a person become a father, we can watch that which has been abused and hurt become a loving mother. The wandering soul seeks a place thats not comforting nor painful but accepting of itself, it seeks its wings. Encourage the seeking of the wings, bless those who set out on this journey wrought with pain and suffering and pray that they will succeed for they deserve the joys and fruits of thier existence for they will pay for it with agony to the soul. Our views on love are always misguided it is believed by some people. I completely disagree with this belief for I have felt this love that people speak of in such a negative fashion. In the short period of 3 monthes I found someone that I fell in love with as goes the way of teenage years. Yet however this was different then any other mention that I had ever known of the word love. I have heard the stories about love for twenty-five years and then it breaks apart. I have seen the married couple of a great family splinter yet this love I felt compelled me to continue to it. Over a period of two years I suffered from a love that could be acted upon because morality and decency forbade it. At the near end of those two years I finally experienced on a physical level that love which I had followed for so long through the brimstone filled pits of the Underworld and beyond. With this physical meeting I felt my soul enterjoin with my love’s and I came to a realization. That this love I felt was truly love. However I also was informed through this joining that this love would have to be let go for my heart belonged into the entirety, not to the one. Two days later I sent that love to the void never to see her again and I was filled with agony. I sent her to the void because the others that I so loved were being harmed by the one my soul loved. I look in at love between that twenty -five year old couple and I watch thier marriage splinter into a divorce that would rock that family for the rest of time. Who loved more I asked myself, this couple which lasted 25 years or my one night of bliss… I believe that neither of us loved more than the other but simply loved and were finally faced with the decision that for the better good. Because these two situations were faced with love not only of each other but for those around them love was sacrificed for love of all. Those who were sacrificed for now know the meaning of love due to this. I hope one day that we all will have the strength needed to love one another. All of us are mortal. A saying that Ive seen many times throughout my lifespan. I never really wondered on what that actually meant. At face value it means that we all can die in time, through disease or other normal means. However it meant something new to me as I wrote this. All of us make mistakes that we have to suffer through, as our path begins to wind down the alley ways of our soul. I’ve made many mistakes, gone against my morals in times of weakness or desire. That is the most crippling blow a person can ever deal themselves. To betray that which they hold dear and shapes thier entire lives. I’ve lost close friends that I never thought I would, I have developed friendships with the most unlikely of people. Its a revolving cycle which I cannot seem to break. However at the crux of the cycle is the mistakes that all us seem to make. That one moment where things change monumentally for the rest of our lives. An immeasurable challenge or hurdle which will flow us down a river of darkness to a light source. Admitting failure doesnt allieviate anything in my heart, it doesn’t cause us to survive any longer. What it teaches us is nothing but it gives us the chance to see what monsters lurk within us all. My own demons brought to the front, my wings fallen from grace. The moment our soul becomes blackened until we can fly out again reborn. Well its that time again when we lose part of our life in this meaningless void people call relaxing, but how can this be relaxing when it torments you with past mistakes of your entire life or plagues you with the one thing you want most of all. Free from this endless torture that my soul must endure. Please. Have faith in me. For I strive to do the work that I was sent here to do, but is that work suffering or is it something else. I live for you and you alone and you can hold that to your heart,soul and eternal being for the rest of this eternity. Do you really have that drive in you, the drive to seek what I strive to obtain and fight for. I was asked do I have a belief I will die for, I in fact do. My answer to that question, is life. I am willing to die for what I am, for what you are, for what everything is. I am above politics, petty wars, and the local issues of our world. I am in fact above these things, this is not a form of hubris but fact. I know that there is a higher ribbon of life, a tie between us all that most people ignore. Some people worship gods, some people worship animals, some worship each other and the pleasure that is derived from each others company. However I can now so I worship something different, I worship that ribbon of life, the holy entity which even God itself was created from. The soul. That void of feeling,emotion, and thought. The soul is not a spiritual gift, but in fact a entity of its own that is created through the birth of life. The birth of life is not a gift of an entity but a necessary creation for the ribbion to exist for if anything is forgotten it is lost. For that reason the soul will never fade, never cease to exist because it is in fact always there, always a part of us, always in the memory of our life,heart, and above all the soul is always us.